Adventures on 10-1-10

…… it is like a fog drug me into this dream and all of the sudden I was in it, the beginning. I don’t know I got there but I was south of the border I am going to guess... the relevance becomes apparent as I go along in this explanation……

I walked down the hall at someone’s house; it was dimly lit in this hall. I passed by Jenna Jameson and nodded my usual “what’s up” but kept walking. I thought to myself that is Jenna Jameson you just passed by when I suddenly almost tripped over this lithe little woman lying to the left of me.

“Oh” and she started to giggle.

“Hi” and she stood up; it was Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriend. She was in a bikini and giggling to herself. “Want to hear something funny” I must have nodded because she breaks into an anecdote while playing with this tattoo on her hip. I am not sure what it said but it looked like a name because it was in three stacked, if that makes sense.

“I said to Hugh, do you want to eat candy off my body and he says Why don’t we just go for a walk” and she giggle some more.

Apparently, I didn’t find it as funny as she did because I walked past her without much recollection of any utterance. At the end of the hall or maybe off to one side, there was a living room of sorts and Tito Ortiz was in there. I was staring at a battered looking sofa, for all intensive purposes it was white by the room was in shades of gray, white and black shadows.

Tito was in a black hooded sweatshirt and didn’t’ say much at all but before I could speak; he had me in a headlock and we worked our way to the ground. I ended up sprawled but trapped in his guard and thinking “is this guy kidding, I don’t know enough to roll with him”.

He was laughing, not in a mocking voice but more of an amused “come on kid” kind of giggle. Somehow it even seems odd to say Tito Ortiz giggles. Here we were, I was struggling to get out of sprawl and that man had my right leg trapped and I was putting every ounce of my body weight on him to try and get free. He had both my hands held out like wings so I really only had my legs and body to get around him.

The low rumble continued from him but somehow I managed or he cheated and gave me an out because I managed to break one hand free and wriggle my leg out from under him enough to get into half guard. I heard myself saying “this sucks” because I hate half guard because I can hold it well enough but I can’t do shit from it, at all. I kept pushing at him and managed a full side control and grabbed a hold of his right arm and hugged it to my chest and was just about to try and go for an arm bar as he rolled a bit opposite me when he pulled me to my feet like I was a damn ragdoll.

Maybe he thought, hmm, this might be worth the lesson? Maybe he grew bored? Who knows but he backed away from me and pushed a  bunch of shit out of the way of the floor, like clearing a space and someone was laying mats down because the carpet wasn’t working for him?

I looked at him and said “this is good and all, but I really need your help”! The lights came on and he pushed his hoodie back and suddenly the whole atmosphere changed. He was in a business suit of sorts’ right in front of me and said what do you need?

It came out quicker than I can recall because as I explained that I can’t find my X5 because I can’t find the highway that leads to the airport parking lot. Do you know where it is? The airport parking structure? I can’t find my X5 and I need it to get back to the States and I have to find my kids.

In the quick rambling, a shadow of events passed by my memory that lead me to him. I came here, to wherever here was, not America, couldn’t find the airport, could see the structure but couldn’t navigate the freeways (think Orange County and massive freeway interchanges, overhead, under … like the 15 interchange to the 10 going to Ontario Airport) to find it.

“No problem, I’ll help you out” he put his arm over my shoulder and gave me one of those side squeeze hugs “I’ll send my guys and one of my tow trucks; we’ll get your car”.

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True to his word, I had my car. I walked into the parking structure of some building and there it was and so was family? I remember being confused but doing the kiss, kiss, hug routine that you see in movies with family members, making idle chat as I went along.

I was in the middle of explaining to my parent what the hell I was doing outside the states when movement caught my peripheral. My truck started to fall.

“No” and I ran to it as it was being lowered to who knows where. I jumped without thinking and landed on the lifter right beside my car. My heart was racing. When it stopped at the bottom level, I did a quick glance around the room, a chop shop.

Shit, I don’t have my keys. I was feeling my pockets, nothing. I heard a voice that was definitely foreign yell something and as I pushed the vehicle forward off the lift (it wasn’t very heavy) some Latin man with shoulder length, straight, glistening with grease brown hair looked in my direction.

I don’t know what he yelled but I was panicked. I tried the door and finally the audible senses kicked in. My car was running. I hopped into the driver’s seat and pressed the gas before the car door was even closed. I veered left and down a ramp. It opened into another huge empty parking lot. It was like a slalom of pillars, I knew how my car handled but this was the most magnificent feeling; a mix of adrenaline and maneuverability. I was high; I was terrified and fighting for my life because whatever brought me here was trying to keep me here.

Every turn of the car kept me from whatever was trying to stop me, I couldn’t see anyone but I knew I had to go, had to get out, had to fight like hell to leave. Where the fuck is the exit? I saw it in the distance of this gloomy, dimly lit garage; I raced toward it and saw the gate lowering.

“No, no, no” I pressed the pedal to the floor; escape was the only thing on my mind.

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I was in my car but not alone. I turned my head and my sight kicked in. The sky was overcast, the air didn’t have a particular smell but the atmosphere was unwelcoming. There he sat. He looked familiar to me, Latin or Italian ethnicity? I couldn’t really tell but this was the man I was trying to escape. For a brief moment, I realized my kids were in the car with me. They were sitting in the backseat, where they usually sit, but not uttering a word. I am certain they were alive but their presence wasn’t important just a background conformity tool I’ll say.

“Where did you think you were going”? He spoke. I cringed, much the same way I cringe now typing it, trying to jog my dream memory bank to find the details as they become slowly less vivid. I only hope I can type fast enough to recall the details before they are gone in the very real, alert world.

“I told you, you won’t leave here, I will kill you first, you are all 3 either with me or you will die without me because no one else will have the 3 of you” I can’t ever remember being more terrified of something and in an instant they were gone, the kids.

I was in a bank, I ran out of the car at some stop light and this must have been the first place I ran into.

I was begging for help when he was sidled up against me and I relented I guess but he was robbing the teller in the cubby next to me. The teller was shaking in violent convulsions as he handed over wads of money and then I saw the gun. Why the teller had a gun is beyond me because for a brief instance I swear it the gun that this man had? What man? The man that apparently owned me perhaps had possession of me or was something significant that I was running from.

“Give her the gun” and I looked at this man for the first time. His complexion was darker but his face was familiar to me. A friend in real life and that friend is very Italian but why he was menacing here was and still is a mystery.

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Driving, again with the driving. The sunlight shined warm through the windows of the car and I was the driver as he sat next to me. I just wanted to escape him.

“Do you have the gun” I inquired. He flashed a black, antiquated, dusty revolver my way.

“Yes”

I remember thinking, if I can get the gun from him, I can either shoot him with it but my aim sucks and it would probably miss or I could flip the barrel out and shake the holder and hope he doesn’t have one in the chamber.

The clouds seem to roll in and the buildings grew taller. The eerie change began to remind me of post 9-11 New York City. Deserted, quiet, no life on the street but the air was heavy with survival, death and sadness. I realized we had two other cars following us. How was I going to escape? My kids weren’t with me again at this point.

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Where the hell was I this time? What the heck is going on? I heard a struggle in the distance. I looked up and the fog cleared to reveal a pond overhead or a pool like thing. It appeared as if I were in some zoo.

The struggling sound I heard was the whimpering meows that came from a baby tiger struggling to tread water and my mind raced. I guess I was trying to take it all in. Trying to find out where I was and what the hell was going on. The tiger only struggled more and his meows got louder.

I had a sudden remembrance of a memory that is either real or dreamed where a camera man filmed the death of a baby tiger in a zoo. The passerby’s watched in horror as this baby tiger drowned right in front of them and no one did anything to help it. The zoo keepers were close enough to help but either fear of the enclosure or blatant disregard prevented them from assisting the drowning baby.

A camera man filmed it, an amateur with a video, filmed the whole thing. I looked around to see if I was recalling a memory that was in this dream. The area was deserted; it was just me and this struggling cat.

I don’t know how but somehow I just willed him out, or maybe I reached carefully and grabbed his scruff to pull his paws to a better gripping ground but he climbed out and sort of fell against the glass pond enclosure which was now at the bottom of a set of stairs.

I looked at the poor creature, gasping for breath; seeming so close to death but what could I do. A closer look at the area showed a small huddle of very tiny, baby cats. I ran to the stairs.

Bounding up the flights, it seemed like it was never going to end when I suddenly heard a low roar. I froze. It wasn’t an angry I am going to eat you roar, it was a warning roar, almost a low throaty growl.

I turned to see a sleek mama cat right behind me and one or two smaller cats to her flank.  Shit.

I cleared those stairs I was on in reverse. I managed to jump the railing in a graceful jump that landed me to the stairs I had recently climbed. I kept going back down. The cat was close behind me. My heart was racing; my body was the most agile thing, cooperating with everything I asked of it. My breath never seemed to fail me. It all just worked in unison.

A baby cat’s head popped through the rail. No roar. No Meow. No bearing of teeth. Just there and that is when it hit me. I will just lead the momma cat down to her baby and maybe she will help it. Maybe she can’t find that baby that nearly drowned only moments ago. I kicked it into high gear and took the stairs two by two and held the rails all the way down to the baby.

That cat never failed to be a step behind me, driving me faster. I turned and looked at her square head. I moved when I reached the suffering young one. She nudged it with her face and that is the cue I needed to run. I felt like the distraction was enough to give me some time and raced back up the stairs.

In two flights, that cat was back on me and it took every ounce of courage I had to turn and give her a fearful, but well intended pat to the head and continued up. If she was going to kill me well, at least I petted her first.

She either didn’t follow me or was in shock that the prey even touched her because the next thing I knew, I was crashing through a dark door and landed in someone’s living room.

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“I’m impressed you made it past the cats” a woman’s voice said from somewhere in the living room.

I felt like an episode of Quantum Leap (jog your memories, it was a TV show), at every turn was something randomly confusing and every scene was a fog for the first few minutes.

“Where did that cat go anyway”? I thought to myself as I stood up to take inventory of the room. First thing I did was stare down the door I just crashed through. The stairs led to a basement but no indication of the massive cave that was below nor the essence of the impending danger. I shut the thin, brown door just in case that cat came up further. The door wasn’t even heavy; it latched with this piece of shit, flimsy turn knob thingies you find on some old school closets.

The room was toward the front of whatever this house was because meticulously draped windows looked out to a street. There were stairs to my left as you stand facing the room. A red and gold winged back chair was situated to the right. The room itself wasn’t large but it seemed so even with the dark furniture against the wall and the darker paint, it gave me the feeling of a Moroccan style; heavy, dark and lots of reds and browns.

That is when I saw her, peering around a curtain at something on the street.

“Get out of the window, they’ll see you” I quickly stepped to see the scene below. Out on the street were the same buildings I had just seen when HE had the gun and was having me drive. The landscape looked deserted except for my X5 and two other cars with the doors opened. Two guys were inspecting the buildings; I knew they were in the cars that followed us as we drove.

“He is looking for me, he will kill us both” I pulled away and went to the heavy front door that was open and only a screen blocked the entrance “Can we close this, do you have anything reinforce besides this screen”?

I was pulling at the screen as quietly as I could when she stepped up next to me and moved me aside. The screen disappeared and she pulled this tightly latticed iron screen door across and bolted it in. She then shut the heavy, old country mahogany door and bolted it top and bottom.

“How about the basement door? There is that flimsy door and bad people are looking for me”. I strode to the door and opened it; footfalls were coming up the stairs. Panic.

“Go to the car” she said to me “the cats should stall them”. I sighed heavily. Inside a panic rose in me and my heart was beating so fast. I suddenly grabbed my purse, the orange one I carry with me all the time. I stared at my wallet, looking for something. What was that something??

Next thing I see is my kid’s faces, I was looking at their identity cards, proof that they were mine so I could get across the border. I had to have proof that they were mine. I had a ton of pictures of Patrick, I had my license, and I had 3 forms of identification for me but nothing for Nikki.

“Oh no” I shuffled faster; I have to have something in here. Suddenly, I found her school ID tucked back behind a bunch of things. I had it all ready so all I needed to do was grab my kids from wherever they were and drive like hell to the Embassy or Border check or whatever place I had in my head that would save us.

“He probably trapped the car” I said out loud.

“You don’t have any options left” she looked sad in a way “you have to try and go”. As the words escaped her mouth, I was back at the door that led to the basement, opened it and five steps below me was the shadow of a man.

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Feeling worse for the wear, I found myself back inside my X5, my son in the front seat, my daughter in the back seat sitting behind me as usual. I was trapped inside another garage warehouse place. It reminded me of my father’s shop when we were kids. The kids never spoke, not once in this dream but they just existed and I had a constant drive to protect and keep them alive.

Like I said, I felt worked over, worse for the wear; no visible markings but then again I don’t recall having a mirror to even see if that was the case.

I remember feeling terrified to turn over the engine of the car because I was afraid it would explode. I know we were placed in this car. I had nothing to lose, if HE was true to his word, we would die right here in this car because I chose to defy Him and take whatever life He had with us.

I turned the key, nothing. Put it in gear, nothing. Pulled forward to one of the many bay doors and that is when the explosion hit. It took my breath away, even in my sleep. I felt like I was gasping, like my heart was literally catapulting from my chest.  The explosion came in slow motion; a fireball of bright red, orange and yellow spread at the front of the car, by the grill. I reached for my kids, hands spread out to grasp both of them and I cried out “I’m sorry”!

My son’s eyes looked so sad and I felt like I failed; I couldn’t even see my daughter but I was reaching for her, to have some connection to her before we all perished. I kept waving my hand around the driver seat frantically searching for her little hand. My eyes were focused on Pat’s not wanting to see the flames continue to climb to us into an eruption of heat.

Something stronger had other plans because I was forced internally to look forward, to see something I missed. Then I saw it. The explosion was indeed real and right in front of me however the fire was coming from an explosion at the bay, not the car. I threw the car in reverse and gunned the gas.

We shot backward and the whole warehouse came alive all at once. It was another tunnel vision expanded to take in the full picture of my surroundings. The bay doors started to rise and fall; I saw one that wasn’t moving and I aimed for it and gave it all I had. It started to close as I approached it closer and I had no time to brake. I cranked that wheel and we barely missed collision. It felt like a fight.

Repositioned and ready for try 2; I watched the doors for a minute to see what I was missing. They fell, they opened, they fell, and they opened. It was a timing thing, so many seconds on, so many seconds off. I think I had figured it out so I waited, headed to another one and as I got close enough to clear it, it exploded. I veered off course again. I remember thinking, this is crazy; I am so close, I have my kids, I can’t die here.

I shot right back out again to another door and as it exploded, I slowed and shot through the fire and right into another room. Frustration and adrenaline are the biggest aspects I remember and that I could feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears. The kids still never spoke and they didn’t disappear.

My success must have pissed off someone because a bunch of rocket racer, pocket hot wheels came from the shadows and as I raced to wider open bay doors, they too chased me down. I could see sunlight nearby but it meant fighting it out, metal grinding on metal.

The first car hit my front end, trying to force me away from the bay. I hit reverse, turned right and shot the gas pedal to the floor, grinding metal on metal again; something hit my son’s side of the car. I looked over at him, unscathed, unaware that the car was just hit.  I did the same routine, reverse, away from the mess, turned left and pressed the pedal to the floor again. The car shot forward and was met to my side with grinding metal again only I was fighting for space in the exit this time. I backed up and aimed for the car blocking my way. I hit it with just enough force that I was able to nudge him out of my way so I could shoot through.

Another room awaited us but sunlight was even brighter, the day gave way to another overcast appearance but it suddenly didn’t seem to matter. Survival is all that mattered. I needed to get to the border; I needed to escape this death trap. Two semi trucks were just within sight of the exit. There were two bays, one to the left, one to the right and backing up to block the entrance. It felt like I must have surprised them because they weren’t close enough in unison to block the exit. The truck on the right reached the first entrance at a quicker pace than the second and that is the one I shot through, barely making it before truck two blocked me in.

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I was ready to get through this nightmare and onto secure grounds again but as I stood in that line I realized that I had nothing. I didn’t have proof that they were my kids, nothing but my own identification in my wallet, all of the remnants that I had them gone, removed by someone besides me. I would just plea my case, beg if I had to. Someone had to believe my story, someone would know, they would have to. I’ve come so far to fight this and save my children. I stepped up to the thick glass window and a woman with dark, sun-tinged skin and unkempt black hair stared back. She wanted my ID. I fumbled with it, I tried to find a way to give it to her and she pointed to a slit in the glass. I clutched my children as I waited for her to ask for their identification.

“Is this you, it says you weigh (something) but the face doesn’t match” her eyes narrowed and she appeared to glare at me.

“It’s me, please believe me, here, here is another picture” I handed it through the glass, trembling now.

Her eyes widened and she looked at the children “Come over here please” and she walked away from the glass to another room. We followed the path to a door and she let us in. A counter was the only thing that separated us.

“Are these your children” she asked, less gruff than moments before “Someone tried to come through and this is what we have” she laid out four pieces of paper but kept calling them pictures. I stared at the papers and nothing made sense, the names weren’t my kids, the names weren’t mine but she insisted that someone had tried to come through as me already with my kids.

“This isn’t your signature” she asked again.

“No, this isn’t my signature, these are my kids though and I need to get to safety because He is trying to kill us, you don’t understand” it practically fell out of my mouth in incoherent words, at least to my sleeping brain.

“We’ll help you but you realize, he won’t stop looking for you and if He finds you, He’ll kill you” she said to me and I guess I didn’t care because the next thing I knew, I was awake looking at the alarm clock that read 530 am.